It all started 2 weeks ago. Kevin came home from church and told me that the 2nd counselor had come up to him and asked if we would speak in church in a couple weeks. So of course, he said that we would love to, without consulting me. I would have concocted a marvelous scheme so that I could avoid any such situation. If you know me, the only thing worse than stranger danger, is having to get up and speak in front of all those strangers.
So for 2 weeks I was stewing, still trying to come up with any excuse to avoid speaking. I even considered eating a raw chicken breast, hoping to get salmonella poisoning. I finally conceded, and after stalling most of Saturday afternoon, I got down to business at about 8pm. So I was doing some research, found some good quotes, structured my talk and got down to writing. It was about 10:30pm and I had about 2 pages done and Kevin asked me to email him a copy, claiming that he didn't want us to "use the same material". So I relented. I told him it was sent and he looked up at me with the most pathetic eyes and said, " promise you won't hate me?". I don't like that line, I don't like what it implies, I don't like being in the unknown like that. I start to worry. What on earth could he have done? Is he stealing my talk for his own? Is he planning on embarrassing me in front of the congregation (which he DID do). No, none of this could have prepared me for what was next. He said, " remember when I told you that brother baker asked us to speak?" yes, of course I remembered, I had been haunted by that for 2 weeks. "well, he really only asked ME to speak". WHAT? yes, Kevin had played me like a fiddle. I had sweat, toiled, stewed, griped, murmured and whined for all that time and I did not have to give a talk. Well, I should have been furious, I should have beat his lips off. But, as previously stated, my single worst fear in life is speaking in front of a large group of strangers. Instead of being angry, I was simply relieved. I didn't have to speak. Instead of tearing off each of his toenails, one at a time, I prepared his lesson for Sunday school and baked him homemade oreos at 1am. Reflecting back, I deserve wife of the year, no, better yet BEST WIFE EVER award.
2 comments:
Amen. I would have killed Mark. You get best wife ever in my books. Hands Down. So did he give the talk you wrote in Sacrament?
LOL! Had my hubby done that I would've killed him and he would have been enjoying the couch for a few nights. Still it is pretty awesome that he punk'd you that good.
Post a Comment