Riddle Me This....

What do bananas, mucus, Y's, and Indian Polygamists have in common?  The key to unlocking one of Kevin's biggest goals in life. To have 100 boys. 


This may seem strange to most of you, but I have been humoring this man for several years now with his claims that he wants 100 spawn, and ALL must be male.  I have informed him that biologically, it's his job to determine the sex of our children. No pressure on me right? He thinks if we don't produce a professional athlete, our marriage is a failure (and that must be a male professional athlete by-the-way). I am not even going to get started on his name selection.  That deserves a post of its own. 


So what spurred these talks?  NO, I am not expecting, and not planning on it for a while. { I am waiting for your Angie.}   His sister is however, and we couldn't be more thrilled for them!  And, we have a ward FULL of babies and pregnant women.  So at church, I get to have my dose of baby time which brings up these random and bizarre conversations that we have.


It originally started when I sent Kevin this link  to an article about an Indian man who had 39 wives and 100 children. I, of course, had a normal reaction and was disgusted.  Kevin, however, thought this was a fantastic way to ensure a strong posterity.  This was several years ago.  He continues to mention that he will need several wives to complete this goal. I have in my most polite voice, told him I am not in that celestial mindset yet.  It ain't gonna happen on my watch!


Occasionally, Kevin sends me these articles he reads online, just to ensure I am preparing myself properly to have boys. I couldn't figure out why, for the longest time he has been force feeding me bananas.  Every day he asks "have you had your banana yet?"  "I don't think you ate a banana.  Let me watch."  I feel like a little kid, I don't mind the occasional banana, as long as they are green, otherwise they are too strong and soft. Yick!  I was going through and deleting a bunch of emails, when I came across one with a link in it.  I am not sure I ever read the article, but now I can see where his insistence that I eat more bananas comes from.  My consumption of bananas directly improves my chances of conceiving males in the future and BONUS: not dieting increases those chances too.  I think I will stop thinking about a diet now.


I think the final straw was a couple weeks ago he sent me a this link.   It is an article with tips on how to conceive a boy.  Now, I want to keep my PG rating on my blog, so for details you can read the link.  Its nothing graphic, but I know that bodily fluids repulse people.  The most appalling part for me is that it comes complete with a Mucus Tracker in Excel or PDF form. 


For now, I will eat bananas, but that's about where I draw the line.  We revisit mucus talk once he has 6 girls in a row, or when we finally decide its time for Klaus Nicholas Hill to join us here (I told you it deserves a post of its own).  If I need advice, I think I will just call up my brother Todd and his wife Jenny.  They seem to  have it figured out with their 3 darling boys.