Riddle Me This....

What do bananas, mucus, Y's, and Indian Polygamists have in common?  The key to unlocking one of Kevin's biggest goals in life. To have 100 boys. 


This may seem strange to most of you, but I have been humoring this man for several years now with his claims that he wants 100 spawn, and ALL must be male.  I have informed him that biologically, it's his job to determine the sex of our children. No pressure on me right? He thinks if we don't produce a professional athlete, our marriage is a failure (and that must be a male professional athlete by-the-way). I am not even going to get started on his name selection.  That deserves a post of its own. 


So what spurred these talks?  NO, I am not expecting, and not planning on it for a while. { I am waiting for your Angie.}   His sister is however, and we couldn't be more thrilled for them!  And, we have a ward FULL of babies and pregnant women.  So at church, I get to have my dose of baby time which brings up these random and bizarre conversations that we have.


It originally started when I sent Kevin this link  to an article about an Indian man who had 39 wives and 100 children. I, of course, had a normal reaction and was disgusted.  Kevin, however, thought this was a fantastic way to ensure a strong posterity.  This was several years ago.  He continues to mention that he will need several wives to complete this goal. I have in my most polite voice, told him I am not in that celestial mindset yet.  It ain't gonna happen on my watch!


Occasionally, Kevin sends me these articles he reads online, just to ensure I am preparing myself properly to have boys. I couldn't figure out why, for the longest time he has been force feeding me bananas.  Every day he asks "have you had your banana yet?"  "I don't think you ate a banana.  Let me watch."  I feel like a little kid, I don't mind the occasional banana, as long as they are green, otherwise they are too strong and soft. Yick!  I was going through and deleting a bunch of emails, when I came across one with a link in it.  I am not sure I ever read the article, but now I can see where his insistence that I eat more bananas comes from.  My consumption of bananas directly improves my chances of conceiving males in the future and BONUS: not dieting increases those chances too.  I think I will stop thinking about a diet now.


I think the final straw was a couple weeks ago he sent me a this link.   It is an article with tips on how to conceive a boy.  Now, I want to keep my PG rating on my blog, so for details you can read the link.  Its nothing graphic, but I know that bodily fluids repulse people.  The most appalling part for me is that it comes complete with a Mucus Tracker in Excel or PDF form. 


For now, I will eat bananas, but that's about where I draw the line.  We revisit mucus talk once he has 6 girls in a row, or when we finally decide its time for Klaus Nicholas Hill to join us here (I told you it deserves a post of its own).  If I need advice, I think I will just call up my brother Todd and his wife Jenny.  They seem to  have it figured out with their 3 darling boys.

Men, Cars, and Friends

You know what they say-Men are like parking lots, all the good ones are taken, the rest are too small or handicapped....well, I got the last good one. I swooped in and got prime parking. I love my Kevy. So, we have now made it 2 years! Happy anniversary to us yesterday. We have really got to spend much more than time together than just that. We have been together for almost 5 years now and have had so much fun. Some of you know, but I am not sure ALL of you have our 1st meeting story. I get to tell the whole story since I have sole power of the blog.

It was a dark, but not so stormy night... my good friend Alicia decided that I needed a good man in my life. She didn't like any of the guys I had gone out with and thought I needed a good man to distract me. She decided she would doll me up and take me out for a night on the town.

If any of you know me, this might not be the best tactic. I am deathly afraid of strangers "stranger danger" and would rather die before looking desperate in front of a male. I tried to explain this to her, but she ignored me. Thank goodness too eh.

We searched high and low. We went all over Provo in search of a tall-dark and handsome man. After hours of torture, I finally convinced her that we should give up our search. It was still early enough, we could get a movie and then go back to my place and relax. So, we headed over to Blockbuster (this dates the story now that they are obsolete). We walked in. and the background music started, there he was. Alicia saw him and started in on me immediately. She was a woman on a mission. She kept urging "go talk to him". I of course refused. I even tried the excuse that I thought I was taller (it usually works). After arguing or a couple minutes, i had to satisfy her, I walked by him. He WAS taller! Unfortunately, he had his hood up, so I couldn't get a good look at him. He had nice shoulders, but if she thought I was going to talk to him she was kidding herself.

She told me that if I did not give him my number she would not give me a ride home. (empty threat, I lived a block and a half from blockbuster...I could walk!) So, after arguing for about 5 min. she let me into the car. She sat down, fiddled with her keys, grabbed a piece of paper, and bolted back inside. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks (I blush pretty easily) I was mortified. I slunk down in my seat hoping that she was not doing what I knew that she was. She did. She gave him my number. She told him I was too shy.

Well, that smart man, made the smartest move he ever could have made. He called! I made the bravest move ever, and actually returned the call (of course with her sitting next to me coaching me). The rest is history. Thanks Leesh. Best friend ever!

Winner!!!

I won....on a technicality, but I will take it!  March Madness is officially over, the Huskies won, and so did I.  I love winning.  I am usually a really good, really humble winner. I am not sure I have ever actually won a tournament challenge, but I can now gloat about it.  Kevin's Mormon club at the law school did a bracket challenge and wives were allowed to enter.  I technically came in second, but the winner had submitted 2 brackets, so I decided he is disqualified.  Sorry Jared. 

To my credit, I had at least UConn in the finals. 

Thawing

Its starting.  On the way home from the gym the other day, I saw a daffodil that wanted to bloom so badly.  Spring wants to start, and we have had a few days where it even felt like we were on our way.  We have taken advantage of a couple of those.  Kevin just finished his spring break, and this quarter looks like it will allow me to see more of my husband than justbthe back of his head as he studies. 

 

One day a couple weeks ago, while Kevin was on break, we were able to go up to the Adler Planetarium.  Kevin and I were not too impressed, but it was nice to get out of the house and walk around outside on a beautiful day here in Chicago.  They were offering a free day, so it was quite busy and Kevin and I were able to spend the day with like 50 school field trips, and every homeless person that wanted to use a clean bathroom and get inside somewhere.

There was not much to see.  This was the largest telescope there and the only picture we took inside.  If you know my Kevin, you know that it must have been REALLY bad.

It is located in the best place to view the city. So we hung out for a minute and enjoyed the sunshine.

Kevin and I were so excited to see the sun and have it be warm enough that we didn't need our winter coats.  This tease lasted for about 2 days before it started snowing again.

This is some astrological thing...

Today, we got to head downt to the Garfield Conservatory.  Kevin's love for taking photos returned and I have over 100 pictures from our 1.5 hour visit

It was the spring blooming event, so you can imagine what a good time he was having taking pictures and planning our future garden.  I think I will have to spend all of my days in the yard if he gets all the things he wants.

The flowers were very pretty and they were certainly blooming

Our next stop was supposed to be for lunch at the Signature Room.  It is at the top of the John Hancock building on the 96th floor.  We got to the bottom of the elevator, but without reservations, it was going to be a long day.

Since I am an SNL "super fan", and love and "Da Bears", so we opted to try a restaurant that involves a lot of SNL skits, and a bit of Chicago black magic and mythology.  Before the Cubs had the Bartman curse, there was a Billy Goat. Click Here to learn more about that. Its a funny story.

The restaurant is in the lower part of Chicago, under the Magnificent Mile.  It is not so magnificent down there. You'll feel like you're on the Batman set.

The Cheezborgers were not impressive, but now I can check it off my list of things to do while I am here.

Just a sunny day outside of  the Water Tower.  It was the only thing that didn't burn during The Great Chicago fire.

We love our city, and I love it even more when Kevin gets to come enjoy it with me.

Life Stinks and Then You Die.

I know, what a terrible title.  I am not really such a pessimist.  My mother used to tell us that whenever we wanted something and she said no. It was quite effective.  I catch myself saying Jackie-isms from time-to-time and  I used this gem recently on 2 separate occasions. Both times, I was informed that I should never say that again.  Kevin told me I was NOT allowed to say that to my future children.  So, I then repeated "Life stinks and then you die".  I am so funny.
Really, I am just sad that it STILL feels like winter here.  I am ready for the sun to peep out and for the daffodils to start blooming.  It is Kevin's spring break this week, but it doesn't feel like spring.  It isn't warm enough to go anywhere on a road-trip.  I know that it is time for spring. It is the middle of March. 
So on Saturday, I went to the gym with my work-out buddy and she convinced me that I needed to go spring shopping with her (if you know me, that was probably not difficult).  So, we took the bus downtown (don't worry, I looked for bedbugs before I sat my bottom anywhere).  Once we started getting near downtown, there was a sea of people wearing green.  It was the St. Paddy's day celebration downtown. I had forgotten.  Here are a couple pics from our girls day out!
Oh, and yes, it was just what I needed.  Thank you Alexandra!

Yes, we are both tall.  Fabulous isn't it!

I love the green river.  Doesn't that look disgusting. 

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Snowmageddon

It all started that fateful afternoon on the first day of February.  I left at 3pm to some flurries, and by this time (after 6pm) was getting walloped by blasting, drifting snow from the lake.  I probably should have used more common sense and stayed on the freeway, but it was so packed and its usually so much faster.  I was not one of the unfortunate ones who got to stay on Lake Shore Drive overnight.  I got behind the SUV shown below.  He went rogue status and just went around all the cars that had given up and parked along the road.  I made it out just before they shut down the road.  Over 1000 people were stuck all night.  Stinks to be them.  I was hungry and had to go pee.  I would not have done well if I had to stay out there.

Talking and texting is illegal, but I haven't read anything about taking pics.

  During the night, we saw thunder and lightning, there were supposedly 25 foot waves on Lake Michigan, and most of our neighborhood was without power all night (not us, but we have radiator heat, so it wouldn't have mattered).  It was supposedly the 3rd worst storm in Chicago History. We woke up the next morning to 20+ inches of snow.

The Streets were covered, you could barely see cars, and

Cars were abandoned in the middle of streets and intersections.

I love these pictures. The cars just look like speed bumps. It was so bad, both Kevykins and I got 2 snow days.  That is 2 paid work days without working.  Can't beat that!

Its a good thing we were robbed once, they could have easily just walked up to our back windows there.  EEK!

I wanted to go down to the lake to check it out, but I didn't have the energy to forge through all that snow to get to it and Kevin didn't want to go.

The streets were too much for the plows to get to.  After 2 days, and no plows, the residents started shoveling the roads.  Cars were trying to make it through side streets, and people were spending hours trying to dig out their cars.  Since it can be so laborious and time consuming, Chicago has a code (not like the new TV show).  Its tradition. It is not illegal (not technically legal either).  If you dig your car out, you get dibs.  Dibs are an understanding.  If you're street like me, you get it.  You respect it.  Someone marks their spot.  Its theirs.  The more clever you are, the better.  I saw some good ones, but didn't get pics.  I saw some baby baskets, cat scratching posts, dinner tables and chairs, and the classic bucket and stick.

The common chair and stick.  Don't try to park there, or you're 'finna' get shot.  (or just get your tires slashed.).  Don't break code.

Valentine's HELP!!!

Valentine's Day.  It is a day for romance, love, and all things mushy.  I love super duper sappy movies, I love to hear about other people's romantic encounters.  I am a sucker for love.  I hate anything that doesn't have a happy ending.   

As much as I love romance, I am not very romantic.  I come by it honestly.  My father was not much of a romantic.  My mother used to say "if he ever bought me flowers, I would think he had cheated on me".  (He did eventually buy her flowers once, because she was gone for over a month).  Therefore, I do not enforce or inspire romance from my darling Kevin.  Don't get me wrong, he does all the right things. Especially when he actually remembers that it is the 14th, not the 15th, which has been a problem every year.  I do get flowers every Valentine's day, even when we weren't in the same place.  We just don't go crazy with exorbitant gifts and getaways.  Do I wish he were more romantic? Maybe when I am romanticizing life, but not really.  It would force me to be more romantic.

So, you might ask, what my Valentine's day plans are. Here is a list of my planned day:  I sent him an e-card.  I am super thoughtful, I know.  I am working out with my new work-out buddy after I get done at work. He gets to feast on left-overs for dinner (probably alone), and he has a basketball game tonight. I will likely be asleep when he gets back because I have to get up early for work.

 SO, here is where I need your help. I love this guy, I'd like to show him, but I realize I am Pathetic.  Please, give me some ideas of how I can make-up for my lack of romantic ambitions.  Give me some ideas (mind you they have to be cheap...remember, ultra frugal husband).  I have a long weekend this week, so I have a few days that I can plan a late V-day celebration.

To wrap things up, I want to mention how lovable my darling Kevin is. Aside from being so hot that he still makes me weak in the knees and gives me butterflies, he also has other redeemable qualities.   He is far more thoughtful than I am .  He is sweet, kind, compassionate, really logical, almost as funny as I am, smart, and did I mention Hot? He is the LOVE of my life.  I think I'll keep him.